Business Writing Discussion

Read Kolin, Chapter Five, and then based on your readings, analyze and revise the following resume (your initial posting) and discuss (your two response postings/peer reviews). Your revision counts as your initial posting and is to be a minimum of 300 words.

Use a traditional format, pay attention to details, and be consistent. Make the objective statement “focused” (pages 180-181) .” Put work experience and education in order by most recentCurrent/present positions should be written in present tense and past positions written in past tense. Remove/revise any unneeded or inappropriate information.” In the work experience section, create bulleted vertical lists that use parallel structure. Overall, strive to create a professional looking resume in which information is easy for employers to find.

Elyse McKenna

102 Ninth Street, Apt. 4A,

Tempe, AZ 88004 602. 555. 1490

I’m looking for an internship working as a marketing intern, able to relocate

Las Cruces High School – Las Cruces, New Mexico
Graduated May 2015

Dona Ana Community College – Las Cruces, New Mexico
Associate of Marketing degree, May 2017

Arizona State University – Tempe, Arizona

BS Degree in Marketing, I will graduate in May 2021

Related coursework: Applied Marketing Management and Leadership MKT 302, Marketing Research MKT 352, Consumer Behavior MKT 402, Competitive Marketing Strategy MKT 462

Work Experience

W.P. Carey School of Business, Arizona State University, Tempe Arizona

Marketing Assistant 2017-now

I assist/create marketing strategies and worked on assigned projects working with a diverse group of students and staff. Manage calendars. Attend meetings.

City of Las Cruces Park District, Las Cruces, New Mexico

Camp counselor  Summers 2015-2016

I designed activities for campers ages 10-12. Supervision of daily activities of groups of 8 kids at a time. I’m familiar with and used first aid techniques for minor emergencies.


Microsoft Office, including Word, Excel, PowerPoint.



Team player

leadership skills

Honors and Awards
Community service award, June 2016
Marketing Scholarship, August 2017, 2018
Student Leadership Award May 2016